Hopeless Love
by a song for jeffrey
Summary: Tristan muses over how he feels for Joey.


(A/n hi! Ok so... I started writing this when I was very angry at my best guy friend...and for some reason while I was reading over it... I pictured Tristan thinking it...so shoot me if you hate it, but I just thought id put it up to see if it was liked . Anyways... I hope you like it!)

**Hopeless Love**

Tristan's POV

Alone. I'm so alone.

And you, who I believed to be my friend.

You left me. Left me for your new love.

So it's sad that Duke really was right. That you were just being my friend for pity. Well, I guess this is the end, because right now, as of this very moment I am breaking away. Away from you and all of your lies.

I don't believe I've ever seen the "real you."

Are you to ashamed of yourself to show that to me?

Are you to ashamed to ashamed of me?

I thought that you strongly believed that you should not care about what people thought of you. That is also a lie. I never thought I would feel this sad over you. Never thought I could feel this much for you. And all for nothing.

Why have you been so sad?

That is what kills me the most. That I am always there for you, but you are too blind to notice. I am here for you to use. Even if you destroy everything, I will be there for you (1). I want to help you Joey, but you obviously don't need me anymore.

Why can we just go back to the way things used to be?

When you could make me happy.

It just makes me upset that I would give up anything in the world for you, and you still don't seem to trust me.

I try to be outwardly happy.

I do it for you

So that maybe your mood will change and you will be able to make me smile once again.

Would you rather I leave you alone?

Do you want me gone?

All you have to do is ask me to leave, and I will. Like I said before, I will do anything for you.

Maybe I shouldn't.

Should I just change?

I would give anything to take away this pain you live with, but that is not possible if you do not let me in.

If we hadn't met, how would our lives be?

You would be long gone, moved away because you were a trouble maker and I...I would not be writing about you wishing the past had never happened.

Why do you love me the least when I have been there for you. I supported you throughout everything.

I think that without even noticing, I may have fallen for you.

That should be no surprise. Everyone at some point thought there was something going on between us.

I wish that was true.

I have been so lonely watching you. At times I feel that I'm the only one who you do not show affection towards, though I am the one who probably needs it the most.

Most times lately I feel that nothing I do will gain your attention.

I think I would do anything to please you.

I drove away today.

I drove out of the city. To the lake you and I talked about going to someday. Way up in the mountains. I tried to call you; tried to invite you to come alone for our journey.

But you never answer your phone when I call.

Why are you distancing yourself from me?

I am becoming weaker by the moment from trying to get to you.

I doubt you care.

Maybe if I was to forget everything I liked about you, I would be able to really live my life.

Like people are meant to live.

Not constantly thinking of one who will never think about me the same way. I will always be "slow stupid Tristan" to you.

There's nothing I can do to make you realize my feelings.

I invited you to my house for dinner tonight. I left a message. I just can't stand the thought of another lonely night.

My heart is breaking from being ignored by you.

Funny how that happens.

You crave someone's attention so badly, that eventually, after not getting their love, you soon start to regret that you ever met them.

I guess life is just the way it always has been.

I am an observer. That is all I will ever be. No matter how hard I try, acceptance just never will come for people like me. Life is plain, and the only happiness I find is the thing I wish I never had.

_200 miles away from home_

_200 miles beneath this lake is where my heart belongs_

_Why don't you care at all?_

_You wouldn't even smile if I were screaming as the water filled my lungs_

_You demand to be chased for your love._

_My desperate heart is far too weak to run for you this long. _

_But you don't care at all._

_There's nothing I can do to draw you close to me._

_Can you take this silence like a pill so I can breathe again?_

_I've been trying to ignore the best parts of you._

_But I'm still hoping that I'll be with you somehow._

_Please be home tonight._

_I'll die if I don't get a chance to make this just right._

_I'm sorry but I can't forget about the way I feel _

_Every time you're here. _

_What would it take for me to be with you?_

_I swear I'd rip my heart out if you said you'd be impressed._

_Please be impressed._

_I'd go so far to please you but I bet you wouldn't care at all._

_Hopeless love please leave me._

_This broken heart is far too weak to run for you this long_

_Why don't you care at all?_

_I'm dieing for a place in your heart_

_Hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me?_

_This broken heart is too weak to hold your weight._

_And now I regret the day we met._

_Please let me forget your name._

(A/N: so how was it? Not too painful? Please...review nicely lol. And thank you to everyone who reads anything I write! You make me happy! Oh ya.. the song was "Hopeless Love" by Daphne Loves Derby...they are so awesome.. if you don't have their cd by now... go get it! Lol. Thanks!)


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